Second Time's the Charm...Right?
Sunday 5th July 2026
Pin-drop silence this morning isn’t it? I think everyone’s sleepmaxxing ahead of tonight’s activities. Come on, just call a Bank Hol tomorrow Keir, you’ve got nothing to lose now you’re off out.
An absolutely hectic end to the week as we got the green light to create an event out of thin air for the 1am-er on Thursday afternoon, but here we are, ready to go with DJs, free food, free pints, and free garms from an exciting secret sponsor.
Of course, the World Cup has sort of lost some of it’s sparkling allure after the devastating Cabo Verde defeat, won’t be the same without those incredible men </3
Rematch
After my whole trainwreck schtick last week, I’ve had a pretty remarkable week in personal growth and emotional maturity. Sort of clearing the decks with a new outlook on productivity and surprising myself during weird encounters with men.
First, a bizarre sexty exchange with Morning After Boy. Yep, the last boy I dated, whom we haven’t talked about since the very beginning of starting the Substack. I’d sent him a politics meme that had reminded me of our old inside jokes, and he’d ignored it for several days. Bit rude considering any contact over the years has been instigated by him, to which I have always been gracious in responding.
His response a few days later was decidedly un-gracious: look who it is, out of nowhere. Alright mate, it’s a meme about Starmer, not exactly an “I think I’m still not over you”. Anyway, he pretty much immediately turned the conversation sexual, during which he revealed that he’s now a sub (insiders will know just how much of a switch this is). Unsure how to do sexting as a proper whip-cracking, sadistically-oriented domme, I found myself having to do much more creative legwork than I’m used to, writing and rewriting narrative that actually, surprisingly, made me lose my boner.
Was it an ick? Or was it just putting him in a light that I didn’t have adjustment lenses for? Here’s a boy who I had pretty much nothing but fond memories of, who I would never have really said no to, just wiping out all the sex appeal with a few texts. Suddenly I was cringing at the thought of seeing him again, totally unable to even picture him in a sexual setting. Particularly surprising as some of the scenarios I was coming up with have since turned me on when thinking about…never mind.
So, clearing decks in progress. I have vacuumed the last of the lingering emotions for Morning After Boy from the corner of my mind he’d been hanging out in for the past few years. I’m almost there with Seven Year Itch boy, he largely repulses me, but the other day I randomly thought about him and felt a tiny jolt in my heart rate. More accurately, I thought about his grandfather (a man I literally never met), so some work to be done with him. Almost there though!
Moving on, I got on the apps after my Romanian Rat Pack told me to start filling my diary with dates. Date after date after date…and then more dates. I swiped only on men who have stated on their profiles that they are INTERESTED IN DATES. I got six matches, and asked every one of them for a drink.
Two instantly unmatched me
One replied “just drinks?” I said “yeah, I like drinks” and he unmatched me
One replied “at yours? Do you have housemates btw” I said “we could go out first?” and he unmatched me
One has yet to respond
One replied “here for some fun?”
I said “yeah! I wanna have some fun this summer! Fancy some beers?”
Ooooft. Just beers? Will you be opening the door in lingerie?
Oh god. We’ve done this before. Yeah, I’d rematched with the guy I’d complained about on the internet a few months back.
“You’re the guy who’s ‘way too fit’ to get you up texts”
I don’t remember saying that. Course you don’t.
What followed was a few days of confusing messages from him (can’t tell if he’s bad at syntax or just communication in general) and demands for photos of the back. Classy. During it I had decided that fine I clearly can’t get a date so let’s just end the drought and get on with this one.
On Friday evening we arranged a Saturday night meet up. He asked if I’d greet him in lingerie, I said he’d have to earn it, that I tend to meet nameless boys from the internet downstairs where concierge can see if I get murdered and I’d rather not do that in lingerie.
Fucking hell not the murder chat. Proper wind up you are. You just like games.
But sounds good. I’ll wait for a morning treat bby girl.
The morning came and I had no desire to send him anything. A calm clarity came over me and I messaged that I wasn’t really feeling it, that I’ve done casual for fours years and now I’ve had this break I think I want to be quite sure about the next guy I’m with, that I was sorry for wasting his time if that’s not his vibe. He unmatched me, and I felt this enormous sense of relief.
It came as Gorgy Geordie messaged about a week full of cancelled dates, her ending up going on the one date that remained in the diary and regretting spending the night with the guy she doesn’t fancy.
Emotional. Maturity. We’re achieving climax guys. Droughts are no longer worth breaking with some random guy just for the sake of it. Could also have something to do with the feed being absolutely rammed with happy couples and examples of men going above and beyond for the girls they love. The couple at the top of the Empire State (fittest thing I’ve ever seen btw), Tom and Zendaya, Callum and Dua, Harry and Zoe, Travis and Tay (kinda), and last night even the Horntail posted an extremely rare couples photo. The last one a familiar punch to the gut with the usual “he will never choose you…NO ONE WILL!” kinda self-talk, but followed very soon after with that new sense of calm clarity that I’ve discovered. He’s on the High Barnet train, and he may keep stepping out onto the platform to check the timetable with me, but ultimately when the doors close he’ll jump back on the train and sit on the seat his love has saved for him. Plenty of empty seats where I’m going though, and I can try all of them if I want.
Emotional! Maturity! I feel so alive. Now, bring on the fun dates please.